“Authentic Confidence” is the belief that you can handle whatever comes your way. It goes along with an optimistic mindset—the belief that in general things will go well but if not then you are equipped to handle them.
Ironically, authentic confidence is not solely based on our sense of our abilities. For example thinking, “I’m good at math,” may not lead to confidence (because how would you feel if you weren’t good at math at some point?) as much as thinking, “I can figure math problems out,” or “I can learn math.”
Authentic confidence results when you adopt a growth-oriented mindset. You show yourself that your efforts pay off and that you can learn something even if it is initially intimidating.
Here are 10 ways to build authentic self-confidence:
1. Expect the best. Remember that what you expect is what you get. If you create a sense of optimism and positive expectation, you're more likely to have a successful outcome.
2. Do something challenging every day. When you do something that's outside of your comfort zone you can't fail. Either you do great and feel more confident or it doesn't work and you're proud of yourself from trying and learn from the mistakes.
3. Keep track your successes. We naturally pay more attention to what we didn't do than what we did do. You think about all the things you didn't cross off your to-do list. Instead focus on what you did accomplish and watch your confidence sky-rocket.
4. Give compliments. When you acknowledge others you'll find that you feel good, they want to help you, and they compliment you. All these things boost confidence.
5. Challenge assumptions and request feedback. We're our own worst enemies and often assume the worst about ourselves. Instead get objective feedback about your performance.
6. Tackle self-esteem reducing thoughts. When a thought that saps your confidence pops into your mind, question it by asking yourself, "What is the evidence that it's true?"
7. Remember your past achievements. Next time you face a challenging situation, recall a time you've successfully navigated a similarly challenging situation.
8. Act slightly more confident than you feel. This one's tricky because if you do it too much, it undermines confidence. But if you act just a bit more confident, you'll get better results, which helps you to feel more confident.
9. Develop skills and expertise. The best way to build authentic confidence is to know that you know what you're doing and be aware of the value you provide. You’ll develop the sense that even if you don’t know something, your efforts in figuring it out are likely to pay off.
10. Focus on learning. Focusing on outcome increases anxiety and decreases confidence. Instead, focus on learning and growing and take the pressure off of yourself to do something “right.”
Now that you know ten techniques that are proven to build your self-confidence, it’s up to you to use them. The key is to consistently apply these skills and before you know it, you’ll have a greater sense of authentic self-confidence.
